I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
