Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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