There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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