I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
