Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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