omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
