I need help removing her.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
