Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
