Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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