Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
and you fell through a lawn chair
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