I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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