Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
