She just used a chaser for red wine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm too high and old for this...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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