i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
