i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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