You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
