Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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