I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
