So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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