You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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