If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
