This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
