I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
