I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
