I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
