Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
