i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
