I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
