Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
