I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
