I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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