Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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