Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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