PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
