So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
