I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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