What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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