She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
its liver damage thursday
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