YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
