i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
