I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
