when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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