woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
