i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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