Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
