Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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