1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
