I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
