I wish i was in the wii world.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
