biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
try to milk me bitch
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