NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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