you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
