and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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