Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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