It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
