Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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