operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
