My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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