I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
