OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
