Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
