I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
