i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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