Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ketchup is God's man juice
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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