Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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