mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
