Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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