TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
